Traditions

Traditions

So, family traditions. Well, in my family we had a lot of old traditions and then we have our new traditions. The reason we do is because we had the things we did before my grandmother died and the things we do now.

Before Grammy died she was the one who put on all the parties. Every birthday - mine, my sister's, my brother's, all of my cousins', and my niece the few years before Grammy died - was in the Lake House. Grammy would cook a mountain of food and us five Grandkids and our parents plus my Aunt Claire would gather together and have fun. Christmas and Thanksgiving were put on at the Big House and they were open to more of our peripheral family. I haven't even seen most of those people since the last Christmas get together.

After Grammy died in 2002, all that fell apart. She was what unified our family so we really had to begin a few new traditions. My sister and my mother have taken up were Grammy left off, but my sister does it more since Mom's condition (she had a stroke when I was in 8th grade and it was very severe. She doesn't like being in public much and putting on Thanksgiving and such tends to leave her very stressed and we prefer not to do that to her) doesn't lend well to entertaining as much. For the first time in over six years we plan to have Christmas in the Big House this year.

What do these traditions mean to me? To be completely honest I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes thinking about the times we had in the Big House and Lake House. (Listening to this particular segment of the score from the Dark Knight isn't helping either.) I can remember running around with my cousins April, Amy, and Christopher playing Cops and Robbers and Hide'n'Seek. I can see Grammy bustling around the kitchen and my brother Brian opening presents in front of the fire place.

These traditions that my family has lost represent my lost childhood. After Grammy died, I grew up fast. I had too. A year after Grammy died my mother had her stroke. I still sometimes have to check on Mama when she's sleeping to make sure she's still breathing, that's how close we were to losing her. My Aunt Claire went through a really rough time after Grammy died and there was a temporary rift between her, my uncle, and my dad because of the conditions of my grandmother's will. My Uncle GT and my cousins still don't contact us much.

This Christmas is important because it fills me with hope. It means that my family has finally really begun to heal. We'll be doing something that is at least half way normal even though it's probably going to be very depressing because it'll be the first Big House Christmas without Grammy presiding.

But still, it's the hope that counts.